Of New Hotels and Tasseled Towels
by authoressnebula
Summary: The boys stop for the night at a fancy hotel. It's all good for Sam until Dean finds the towels.


_A/N: Crack. This is all crack. And it started because my friend and I went to a store and found tasseled towels. The following conversation led to the following story. ...Which is all crack._

_Thanks to everyone for the latest reviews, also! You guys made me smile, which in turn makes me wanna write more fic. ^_^_

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"Why's it always the smaller, eastern towns that always have the fancy hotel rooms?" Dean moaned, slapping his hand against the steering wheel. "Plain room would be nice. Plain towels, plain bedsheets, plain everything."

"And yet it was the fancy playboy room that became the favorite," Sam replied wryly. Between the silhouettes of curvaceous women and the magic fingers, Dean had insisted that the room was one worth coming back to. So much so that at the end of the first night, he'd told the front desk that apparently their credit card simply "wasn't working" and that he'd pay cash for the entire thing.

That was dedication right there. Even Sam couldn't ignore that much love.

Dean stopped moaning long enough to send a grin Sam's way. "Yeah, for a reason. Next time we go back, I'm bringing quarters. By the pound. Go day and night, baby!"

And that image was enough to make Sam pinch the bridge of his nose. Dean had...well, he'd gotten _loud_ on the bed. Not enough that they'd been in trouble of getting kicked out, just enough that Sam had had to flee the room multiple times with a red face.

Jerk.

Another hotel was passed by, and Sam finally turned to his brother. "Okay, we have to stop somewhere for the night."

Dean shrugged. "Plenty of time, Sam, lots of towns further down."

"Dean, it's almost eleven. I'm tired. You're tired. Let's just...pick somewhere and go with it, okay?"

With an aggrieved sigh Dean pulled the wheel to the right and led the car into the hotel's parking lot. Chain-brand hotel, pretty and bright and with indoor corridors instead of outdoor walkways. The sign in front looked brand new and completely lit up from the inside. The words underneath were not only spelled correctly but had all their letters, and promised a complimentary breakfast on top of it all.

Comfortable rooms with no roaches. Warm, real breakfast that probably wasn't going to be all that greasy, and would more than likely have _fruit_. They could carry their luggage down the hall to a room like normal people.

Sam was practically _gleaming_ by the time Dean found a parking space. Dean glared at him and shoved the gear shift into park. "You look like someone shoved your fingers into a light socket. We're only staying a night Sam."

Even the sarcastic reply and the truthful statement couldn't wipe the grin off his face. Dean muttered something uncomplimentary underneath his breath and quickly left the car. "You comin' or what?" he shouted from near the trunk. Sam quickly followed suit, still grinning. He snagged his bag from Dean's hand and led the way to the front desk, practically bouncing. Probably a shower with water pressure, too. Soft, fresh towels...smooth sheets that weren't stained with god knew what...

"Okay Nicholson, lose the creepy grin. You're freaking even me out," Dean said as he followed. "Seriously, what's the big deal? It's gonna cost us more."

"What about a clean hotel room that wasn't built in the fifties do you not understand?"

Dean made a face. "I'm just seeing the price go through the roof, that's all. We're down to two credit cards."

"With three more waiting for us in Tulsa," Sam immediately countered. "And I know for a fact that one of those cards isn't near maxed out, so...shush up." Answer given, Sam stepped up to the automatic doors, leaving Dean behind him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. The doors parted smoothly and without a single squeak, and the cool, clean air from inside embraced Sam. He sighed happily, the smile on his face returning to an almost painful width.

He stepped inside and felt serene the minute he did. A small lobby off to the right held a few chairs and a table for magazines, everything new. The tiles _glistened_ at him, and Sam felt like twirling.

Dean's quiet but incredulous voice from his right thankfully stopped him before he could do so. "Did you seriously tell me to 'shush up'?"

Sam was too happy to even consider letting his cheeks flush at his girly choice of words. "And you didn't," he said instead. "C'mon, enjoy this for just one night. Nice beds, all you can eat breakfast that's free."

"That's why I pulled into this one, bitch," Dean said, incredulity already having turned into amusement. He stepped around Sam and headed to the front desk, manned by a small woman that was undeniably attractive. If that didn't turn Dean's mood around, there was nothing that could.

Sure enough, less than three minutes later found Dean returning with a big grin on his face. "Two doubles that are nicely sized, and they come with a smile. And I don't just mean our rooms."

Sam rolled his eyes out of habit, but returned the smile. "Where are we?"

The room was just down the hall, and their feet didn't make a sound on the plush carpeting. The walls were cream and clean, small framed paintings hung every now and then as they passed a pool area. "Hotel's new, she said," Dean said when they got to their room. Key carded entry, and it was almost as good as what Dean was saying.

"How new?" Sam couldn't help but ask.

Dean easily slid the door open, no pushing or shoving necessary. "Two months new."

Heaven. Sam was in _heaven_.

The room was spacious. The ceiling went higher than most rooms, an architectural artistry that Sam was fully appreciating. The beds looked _piled_ with pillows and fluff, and across from them was a large television in a wooden dresser. The bathroom was equally splendid, and two grown men could easily both move around in it.

"You gonna stand out here and gawk, or are you gonna actually go in?" Dean snarked, moving into the room before the door could shut. Sam quickly followed in after him and past him to the bed farthest from the door. He tossed his bag haphazardly to the floor, kicked off his boots, and stood in front of the bed. His arms stretched out to the sides, and he didn't pause as he let himself fall back onto the bed.

He sunk deep into a soft comforter, a new mattress, and several plush pillows. Sam let out a deep sigh and smiled.

Dean merely snorted. "Dork. You want the bathroom first?"

"That would imply getting up," Sam said. He shifted a little, then a little more, yet every which way he still found softness and comfort. Not a single bad spot on the bed. He closed his eyes and let the day fade away. Another spectacular Winchester day, another sixteen hour 'shift' that made his head hurt. But it was all disappearing, all sliding away and leaving only Sam and the comfiest bed he'd ever felt in his life.

"Dude. Check this out."

Sam opened his eyes and turned towards his brother's voice. Then froze, staring first at Dean's now bare chest, then at Dean's face which, for the first time since they'd entered the hotel, was wearing the same amount of glee that Sam's own face had had. Not even the cute check-in girl had gotten this much of a reaction.

"Seriously," Sam said, glancing down to make sure he wasn't just that tired and seeing things. No, Dean was really holding a tasseled towel against his chest. More to the point, he had two tassels in his hands, each one hanging from a nipple.

Dean waggled his eyebrows. "Chicks dig stuff like this. This, and whipped cream? Mm. Good times, Sammy."

"Oh god," Sam breathed in horror. And it wasn't getting any better because Dean was still grinning like he'd found a room full of naked women all waiting for him and his tasseled nipples-

That wasn't helping. At all.

Even as he kept staring, helpless to stop, Dean took the tassels and began to twirl them around in circles. "Personally, I think they'd go well with my perky nipples."

Sam finally slapped a hand over his eyes and turned away. "Oh god," he moaned. "Take it off. Away._ Off." _He paused, then added without even looking, "And do _not_ put that towel back on the rack. Not after you did...that with it."

"Shush up," Dean tossed back at him. The bathroom door shut, and Sam sighed, this time in pain. Real, honest to god pain, because it'd been a long day, and he practically felt jet-lagged, and all he wanted to do was sleep. And he had a beautiful hotel room around him, a brand new hotel room at that, a soft bed underneath him, quiet and peace around him.

Except now he couldn't, because visions of Dean and his tasseled nipples were going to dance in his head all night long. And Sam had been looking forward to a night without nightmares.

He groaned and twisted around on the bed until he could bury his head underneath one of the pillows. Maybe if he stared at complete darkness for awhile, the black would burn into his retinas and replace the image that was currently burned there.

Yeah, right.

Somehow he did fall asleep, and woke up to find that his pillow had been tucked underneath his head, blankets on top of him instead of beneath him. His jacket felt suspiciously absent, and even without waking up Sam knew it'd be hung over the back of the chair, his boots settled below it.

When he got his eyes to work and open, he found himself gazing at the sprawled, snoring heap of man that was his brother. The one who could apparently mock his brother with a fancy towel one moment, then tuck him in the next. Sam let a fond smile grow as he watched his brother sleep. "Jerk," he whispered.

The whisper didn't so much as move Dean or soften his snoring. Dean was completely out for the count, but even with that knowledge, Sam sat up and slid off the side of the bed quietly. The bathroom light wound up being a dimmer, and the gentle light instead of the harsh ones they were used to only made him smile wider. They had to do this more often. And if Sam had to find more jobs on the east coast to do it, then he'd do it.

The disposable cup on the counter actually looked usable, plastic wrapped around it and stacked on top of another one. The door had to be closed almost all the way before he could open it without fear of waking Dean, and the fact that the door didn't squeak on its hinges only made everything that much better. Sam could live here.

That wasn't crazy or anything, really. Considering most places they stayed, that thought was downright sane. Really.

He was filling his cup up with water when he spotted it. Tossed in the corner near the spacious bathtub was the towel. Two of the tassels were placed standing up, something Sam knew no mere toss could create. With a roll of his eyes Sam took a sip of the water. Only Dean.

Dean, who was asleep. Snoring softly in the room, mouth hanging open, completely unsuspecting. Sam swore he could feel his eyes widening and had to stop his smile from cracking his face in two. He grabbed another tasseled towel from the shelf and carefully crept back out to the room. Sure enough, Dean was still out.

Even as Sam attempted to figure out his place to attack, Dean mumbled and twisted, leaving a single foot dangling bare at the end of the bed. Cautiously Sam brought the towel down to the foot and brushed the tasseled edge oh so lightly against Dean's foot. Dean shifted slightly, his snoring softening. When he remained asleep, however, Sam went back and did it again. Brush, twitch. Brush brush, twitch shift.

The last brush had Dean shaking his foot in an attempt to dislodge whatever it was that was bothering him. His face scrunched up, his nose twitching like a cat, and his foot shook like he was dancing. Sam clamped a hand over his mouth to make sure his smile stayed silent and didn't turn into something else. When Dean settled once more, Sam brushed the tassels against the bottom of his foot again.

Dean moved fast, too fast to counter, and Sam found himself being yanked up onto the bed, towel being tossed from his grasp. "_Not_ a cool way to wake up, you bitch," Dean yelped, and Sam's laughter refused to be silent any more. Even as Dean tried to retaliate, Sam merely slid out of the way, still laughing. "Seriously, Sam? What are you, six?"

"Hey, the towel was on the shelf, and you were asleep, man." Sam stretched out on the other side of the bed, grinning unrepentantly. "Not my fault. And you started it." That was totally a six year old's argument, but if Dean was going to accuse him of being one, he might as well act like it.

Dean's scowl slowly turned into a smug smirk. "You mean the top shelf? You mean where I folded up the towel I'd showed off last night and laid it there? And tossed the clean one on the floor?"

Sam's smile dropped. "You...jerk," was all he could say. Besides the ew that his mind was faithfully running over and over again. "What are you, five?"

Dean merely laughed and climbed out of bed. "You know, this whole fancy hotel thing is starting to appeal to me a lot more. We're definitely gonna have to stay in another one of these again." He tossed the towel at Sam's face, snickering when Sam jerked away. "Yeah, definitely finding another fancy hotel down the line and having fun. Make for some good times, Sammy."

Disgusting nipple-touched tasseled towels aside...it really did make for some good times. Dean looked cheerful, too cheerful considering there wasn't a cup of coffee in sight. He must've gotten some decent sleep. God knew Sam had slept through without incident. (Though he'd bet that his next nap was going to have issues, knowing Dean.)

Soft beds, brand new room, the wear and tear of the hunt being tossed aside for just one night. Just one night, and they were both smiling and even laughing before morning coffee. If that wasn't a miracle, Sam didn't know what was.

"There's free breakfast," Dean said, already putting on his shoes. "And hopefully a certain check-in clerk at the front desk this morning. You c'mon or what?"

Sam steered clear of the towel and moved off the bed. "Yeah, I'll follow. Let's get breakfast, man."

END


End file.
